Mitchell's Day
by gawilliams
Summary: Cameron Mitchell has his turn at the spotlight as he navigates through the pitfalls of a day that went from good to bad without getting lynched.


_This one starts out at the end of the day as Mitchell thinks back on all that happened. I hope you all enjoy this one as much as the others. More chapters will follow as quickly as I can produce them. Let me know what you think. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchises in any way. No copyright infringement is intended._

_**2100 Hours, Main Recreation Hall, City of Atlantis, Pegasus Galaxy**_

This was the most miserable day of his life. Colonel Cameron Mitchell was sitting at the Bachelor Party that he had, reluctantly, organized for General O'Neill and everyone was looking at him as if he'd committed some outrageous sin against the sacred institution of Bachelor Parties. How the hell was all this his fault? He hadn't wanted to organize a bachelor party, and he sure as hell wasn't the one who had put it in the heads of the women that some form of wild orgy would be the result. My God! He'd had lectures from Sam, Vala, Teyla, Doctor Keller (who was downright scary when she got her dander up!), and even Carolyn who had come in just that morning for a Girl's Night and the wedding. Thank God Ishta hadn't pulled him aside for a chat! He noticed though, that once she had talked to Teal'c, the Big Guy had pretty much shot down all the ordinary aspects of a Bachelor Party and simply reminded Mitchell of what would be his fate if he interfered with the big, bad warrior's duty. Mitchell was still trying to coax his balls to come out of hiding after that warning/threat.

"Great party, Mitchell," O'Neill said as he sat down next to the younger man. "I really loved practically being strip searched by Teal'c at the door looking for contraband," he added sarcastically. He looked down at his plastic cup. "And fruit juice??? What about all that beer I directed Hank to send through the Gate?"

"That was not my fault, General O'Neill," answered a morose Colonel Mitchell. He looked over at the Jaffa Warrior who was regarding everyone in the room suspiciously, and guarding the door as if his life depended on it. The strip search line wasn't too far off as he'd seen the Big Guy pat down a few guys who looked like they may have some illicit items hidden. Even General O'Neill apparently hadn't been exempt! "As for the beer, I think Sam had a few words with General Landry about that."

"Let me guess," O'Neill drawled. "You were my very own proxy again."

"I made sure I was well away from that conversation," Mitchell immediately pointed out. He was done with any proxy debates from this point on. He hoped to have a pension when he eventually retired, after all.

"Don't ever fall in love with a woman who can literally kick your ass, Mitchell," O'Neill advised. "If you do, then you can expect parties like this in your future, and a diet that would make even the most health conscious person want to cry."

"Too late," Mitchell sighed. "Carolyn's already discussing my health with me and where I have certain 'deficiencies' that need addressed."

"I better go and mingle," O'Neill said finally after an awkward silence.

"I have the movie ready, Colonel Mitchell," Teal'c suddenly said from beside him.

Mitchell looked up at Teal'c. "Really?" he said, a bit shocked. '_Please be a porno!_' he mentally prayed. '_At least something with a naked woman in it!_' "What is it?" he asked.

"_Beauty and the Beast_," Teal'c said with a wide, satisfied smile. "I had it sent from my collection of Disney films at the SGC."

Mitchell wanted to crawl in a hole and die right then. He was going to be lynched before the opening credits were done. Why the hell couldn't the Big Guy _at least_ ask for something manly like any of the _Star Wars_ films that the guy loved so much??? This was like sitting through one of his Grandmother's Bible study groups with cake and milk for a treat, along with an appropriate record being played. Without even asking how the hell Teal'c could do this to him, he put his head in his hands and almost cried. '_How the hell did a day that had started out so well, turn to shit?_' he wondered as he began to review the entire day.

_**0600 Hours, Colonel Mitchell's Quarters, City of Atlantis, Pegasus Galaxy**_

Colonel Cameron Mitchell was laying in bed enjoying the rather risqué dream he'd been having all night concerning him and a certain gorgeous Chief Medical Officer of the SGC, Dr. Carolyn Lamb, also his Boss' daughter. He tried to ignore that last fact as much as possible, though. His normal senses had been lulled during this month on Atlantis with his team, General O'Neill, and Sam, so he didn't sleep as lightly as he ordinarily did. Otherwise he would have noticed the dip in his bed as someone slipped under the covers with him. He did notice, though, a warm arm, and feminine thank God, snake across his midsection and that woke him up.

"What the Hell???" he bolted upright into a sitting position, looking down at the woman in his bed.

"Is that any way to greet your lover who you haven't seen in nearly a month?" Carolyn asked with a sultry smile.

"Carolyn?" he questioned, not quite fully alert yet.

She cocked a brow. "Expecting some other woman to crawl in bed with you?" she asked, teasing him unmercifully. Sam and the others had told her all about how the guys had been tortured this past month by the Sisterhood. It was only fair that she got in her shots, too.

"NO!" he exclaimed instantly, knowing any kind of hesitation on his part would see him in deep shit, regardless of how inaccurate her assumptions on his silence would be.

"Good," she said as she reached down and grabbed hold of his morning erection. She'd missed him and was granted permission to go through the Gate that morning with the wedding supplies instead of waiting until that afternoon when her Father and a few others would be coming to Atlantis. "Pleasant dreams, Colonel?" she teased huskily as she stroked him slowly, bringing a groan of pleasure form his lips.

Mitchell fell back on the bed and allowed himself to enjoy Carolyn's touch. "The best," he admitted. He took a peak as he lifted the sheet and saw that she was naked. He hadn't noticed before since she'd kept her body a little separate from his initially. "This is sure better than what the rest of the guys have dealt with this month," he observed with a short chuckle.

"Oh?" Carolyn grinned as she tightened her grip on him, increasing the friction.

"Vala's been trying to fuck Daniel into an early grave, especially after he proposed, Jack's had some performance issues until recently, Sheppard fell asleep waiting for a suitably turned on Teyla to arrive one night, and McKay keeps getting punished for everything that happens," he explained with another laugh. "What happens to me? I behave and then find a gorgeous, and very naked, woman in my bed one morning. And guess what the best part is?" he asked.

"What's that?" Carolyn's smile widened.

"I'm not in trouble, I'm wide awake, I definitely don't have performance issues, and I have no problem with my girlfriend trying to fuck me to death," he grinned widely.

Carolyn chuckled as she began to move her head lower on his torso, heading to what she had her had on. "Maybe not to death, Cam, but certainly to exhaustion," she informed him just as she took him in her mouth. His deep groan of pleasure was only the first of the rewards she would reap before letting him out of bed that morning.

_**0900 Hours, Main Infirmary, City of Atlantis, Pegasus Galaxy**_

"But didn't the last two and a half hours prove I'm in tip top shape?" Cam whined as Carolyn led him into the infirmary.

"It only proves what an aroused man you are, like all men," Carolyn replied with her firm, _I will brook no nonsense_, tone in place. "That healing wound on your forehead is more than enough to make me wonder. Don't be such a baby. A thorough check and we'll be out of here in no time."

Cam's shoulders slumped in silent resignation. Well, there goes the awesome start to his day. He gets seriously laid by a smoking HOT girlfriend and then what does he get? A full medical check up! "No time, huh?" he questioned. "That's what you said during my quarterly physical and I was there for five hours, Carolyn."

"It's better than five days," Carolyn replied smoothly.

"True," Cam admitted. He still didn't like this one bit. Sure as shit she'd find something and he would be suffering just like the rest of the guys.

As he'd feared, the physical was a long one, though not the five hours of his last full physical. This one lasted only two hours. Thankfully, the medical equipment that was to be found on Atlantis was incredibly advanced and allowed for some impressive detail and instant results. Genetically he was perfectly fine, for which he was very grateful, though he'd been pretty sure of that one already. Hormonal levels were all within normal limits and ranges. All vital organs were healthy and doing all that they were supposed to do. Then there was the next test.

"Penile elasticity???" he spouted in disbelief. "This morning has to be proof positive that I'm good to go in that area!" He also didn't like that Dr. Keller was right there with Carolyn as his girlfriend learned how to work all the shiny gadgets. This was beyond embarrassing., heading towards humiliating. Now he knew how the General must feel when he's somehow in the doghouse with Sam.

"Not necessarily," Carolyn teased with a glint of humor in her eyes. "I noticed a bit of 'reduced' enthusiasm on your part this morning, though that may just be a faulty memory on my part as we haven't been together for almost a month."

"There is no 'reduced' anything, thank you very much!" he said with as much wounded dignity as he could muster, not catching the teasing look in his lover's eyes. This was a fucking nightmare. What had he done to deserve this?

Carolyn and Jennifer Keller looked at each other and knew that it was time to strike. Jennifer leaned over and shut down the equipment, and then both of them looked at Cam directly in the eyes.

"Outside of a slight decrease in your overall equilibrium, which is most likely a result of the minor head injury, you're perfectly healthy," Carolyn said with cool, professional efficiency.

"Thank God," he breathed a sigh of relief. Then he saw the look they were giving him. "What?" he asked, a bit nervous once again.

"We'd like a few words about this Bachelor Party you've organized for the General," Carolyn said, and Jennifer nodded vigorously beside her.

He gulped. This couldn't be good. Teal'c had been giving him the evil eye ever since Sam and the girls had told them that they would be having a pretty wild Bachelorette Party if the guys were having a wild one for Jack. The Big Guy's silent message was clear. If Ishta enjoyed a 'wild' party with the girls, then little Cameron Mitchell was seriously fucked. He remembered that meeting with Sam, Teyla, and Vala clearly.

_Cam, John Sheppard, Daniel, and Teal'c were sitting in Sam's office, somewhat uncomfortably given the stares of the women, across from Sam, Teyla, and Vala. _

_"No Bachelor Party?" Cameron squeaked as he imagined what the General would do to him if the one single responsibility that he'd handed to him was shot down in flames. It wasn't a pretty image._

_"I would never deny you guys your fun," Sam assured them, lulling them into a false sense of security._

_"Of course we wouldn't," Vala piped in._

_"But it's tit for tat, though," Sam told them._

_"Huh?" Mitchell asked. The guys had let him be the spokesman for them, the big chickens!_

_"We're having a Bachelorette Party the same night," Vala informed them._

_"And as I have been told it is traditional that at male Bachelor Parties there are female strippers, I have arranged on your behalf several beautiful Athosian women to be your strippers," Teyla said with a look at John that spoke volumes about her not being too pleased at how he had not been completely forthcoming about the full implications of a Bachelor Party when she'd asked him._

_"Okay," Mitchell slowly said, suddenly _very_ nervous._

_"But as we want it fair on all sides, Teyla has arranged for several very handsome, well built young men to be strippers for the Bachelorette Party," Vala announced with a very big grin._

_"Oh, Teal'c," Sam mentioned. "I spoke to Ishta today and invited her to the Bachelorette Party, so she'll be arriving sooner than we originally thought."_

_Teal'c blanched. He also got his own hackles in an uproar over the idea that Ishta would be watching handsome men stripping down to nothing. He turned to Mitchell. "There will be no strippers at the Bachelor Party, Colonel Mitchell," he said in a deadly tone that told the younger man that murder and mayhem would ensue if naked men were discovered to be prancing around anywhere within the vicinity of his Ishta! He may be cowed by Ishta most of the time considering the fierce warrior she was, but he also had a jealous streak a mile wide._

_"I guess we can cancel all the strippers, then, Teyla," Sam ordered in a tone that suggested regret, but inside she was secretly pleased. She had a nasty jealous streak, too, though she tried to hide it as much as possible. The only live nude woman she wanted anywhere near Jack was herself, especially right before their wedding. She may not have many qualms about the idea of strippers in general, but this was her moment, not anyone else's._

_Mitchell was wanting nothing more than to crawl into the floor and not emerge until well after the wedding. "Anything else, Ladies?" he asked, not knowing if he really wanted an answer to that question._

_"Only a few more items," Teyla replied with a smile. The plan was working perfectly._

"So, what about the Bachelor Party?" Mitchell asked Carolyn and Jennifer as he returned form his remembrance of the last meeting he'd had about it. This was quickly turning into a really bad day quickly. Maybe Carolyn would be interested in more sex to divert her attention after they were done here? He quickly dismissed that bit of wishful thinking. His luck was never going to be that good.


End file.
